


Never

by wanneable



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Breakups, Fluff and Angst, Jinhwi Fic Fest Round 1, Love, M/M, jihoon and woojin captain the jinhwi ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 20:22:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12196731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanneable/pseuds/wanneable
Summary: The adventures of a boy who doesn’t know his own feelings, and can’t help but hurt the one he loves most.





	Never

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for Jinhwi Fic Fest Round 1. Prompt #4 - Never

not anymore, never ever

His fingers were shaking. 

Daehwi sat inside his boyfriend’s living room, his mind a blur of his thoughts. Earlier in the week, his mind had began to fill with thoughts of “does Jinyoung love me? Does he really?” The more the younger thought, the clearer it had become. 

Maybe they weren’t meant to be.

Was he holding Jinyoung back? Did Jinyoung feel sorry for him, therefore stayed with him so he wouldn’t feel guilty? All of these thoughts penetrated Daehwi’s mind the prior week. Jinyoung has seemed less affectionate than normal, Daehwi thinks. Even some people he knew had pointed it out to him.

To top it off, both boys would be leaving for university soon, and who knows if they got accepted to the same one? Daehwi had even applied to a few schools in America, so leaving could be just around the corner.

So maybe it was true, and that’s why Daehwi found himself sitting on his boyfriend’s couch, waiting for the other to return from the kitchen. No matter how much Daehwi was in love with Jinyoung, he wanted the elder to be happy, and if it wasn’t with him, that should be okay.

“So,” Jinyoung starts, walking through the doorframe, startling Daehwi out of his thoughts. “What did you need to talk about?” 

Jinyoung smiled down at him, joining him from across the couch. He wasn’t making this easy with that smile. He also wasn’t making it easy by slipping his slender fingers into Daehwi’s. Daehwi had always thought they fit like a puzzle piece. 

“I want to break up.” 

Daehwi doesn’t know what unnatural force has taken over his body at that moment for him to blurt this out, but it’s out there. Jinyoung’s smile slowly sliding off of his face confirms it.

“You.. you want to what?”

“I want to break up.” Tears are prickling the younger boy’s eyes as he bites his lip, keeping his gaze down. 

“Why?” is the single word that leaves Jinyoung’s lips as his hand slips out of Daehwi’s. 

At this action, Daehwi’s mind suddenly takes him back to the day he started dating Jinyoung.

 

 

It was an autumn day, and the two best friends were enjoying a day together during their school break. They had been all over the city, eating and shopping and just being together, but they ended their night in some park they happened to stumble upon in the midst of their adventure. 

Daehwi had intertwined his fingers with Jinyoung’s, a normal thing between the two, and began to swing their interwoven fingers back and forth. 

“Jinyoung..” Daehwi began, and heard the older mumble out a soft “hmm?” before continuing. The two past a small flower garden during their walk, which Daehwi focused on as the next words left his mouth. 

“Samuel asked me to be his boyfriend today?”

It comes out as a question, which is not how Daehwi intended it. He feels Jinyoung’s hand slip out of his own and begin to ramble in distress.

“Why? How did you answer? What did you tell him? Should we be holding hands?”

Daehwi panics as well, shaking both hands at Jinyoung. “No! No, no, no! I told him no.” ‘because I’m in love with you, stupid.’ Daehwi wanted to add, but felt like it was inappropriate. 

Jinyoung visibly relaxes, “oh, good. I mean, not good for Muel! I just thought I’d have competition over you.” 

Daehwi quirks an eyebrow, “competition? Over me?” 

Jinyoung’s panic mode hits again, “I mean, no! Not like that! Don’t listen to me, I’m not sure what I’m saying.” Scratching the back of his neck, a blush creeps onto Jinyoung’s cheeks. 

“Are you saying that you would have competition, because you also like me?” Daehwi giggles at the thought. “Cute.”

“Leave me alone, brat,” Jinyoung plays, but Daehwi kisses his cheek anyways. 

“We always act like a couple anyways, Jinyoungie. Do you want to be my officially official boyfriend?” w

 

“I don’t think we can work anymore.” Daehwi answers Jinyoung’s question. 

“Daehwi, we’ve been working just fine,” Jinyoung replies back, his tone becoming uneven. 

“We just..” Daehwi pauses, trying to find a way to wrap this up quickly before tears spill from his eyes. “We just don’t work anymore. I have to go.”

With that, Daehwi jumps up, running through the small hallway and out Jinyoung’s front door, not bothering to hide his tear-prickled eyes as he begins his journey to the only place he knows to go.”

 

“You did what!”

Jihoon doesn’t know how to keep quiet.

“Please, you don’t have to let everyone know,” Daehwi hiccups from the doorway to Park Jihoon’s apartment. 

Jihoon groans in frustration before pulling the younger boy in the apartment by his wrist and shutting the door.

“Lee Daehwi,” Jihoon begins, guiding the boy to the kitchen table and taking a seat. “Why on Earth would you break up with Jinyoung?” 

Rubbing his eyes and nose with his sleeve, Daehwi responds, “I don’t think he was happy with me. He doesn’t smile as much anymore, Jihoon. He’s not as affectionate. I didn’t want him to stay with me just because he felt sorry for me, or something like that. I want him to be happy.”

“He was happy!” Jihoon practically shouts again. “Daehwi, you are an idiot. Do you even see the way Jinyoung looks at you? He looks you like you are his sun, his moon, and his stars. He buys you anything you want, he does anything you ask him to do, and that’s because he loves you, Daehwi. You’re an idiot.” 

If Daehwi trusted anyone more than Jinyoung, it was Jihoon. 

“Did you ever think that maybe the reason you felt this way,” Jihoon begins, in a much quieter tone of voice, “was because you were scared of your own feelings?” 

After a few moments, Jihoon rubs Daehwi’s shoulder, giving him a small smile. 

“Give Jinyoung a week. Then go apologize.”

 

It’s been a week. 

He had really thought about his feelings, and he knows now that he was thinking too fast, moving too fast, and not considering what was most important. He loves Jinyoung. Feeling insecure about Jinyoung loving him back doesn’t give him a reason to break things off so soon. 

‘minhyun just texted me that he was home,’ Jihoon’s text read from his phone. ‘go apologize to your man!! xx :P’

Pacing the hallway outside of Jinyoung’s apartment, Daehwi read the text over and over, before solidly planting his feet in front of the familiar door. 

‘There’s the scratch on the door from where Jinyoung missed the lock with his key when I was tickling him.’ Daehwi thinks to himself, a sad smile on his face. 

Before he could think about anything else, Daehwi raised his fist and knocked against Jinyoung’s door. 

“Jinyoungie? Minhyun said you were home.” Daehwi begins, waiting a few seconds. 

After no response, he continues. “I messed up, Jinyoungie. I was scared and worried and confused and.. this week made me realize how much I do love you. I always did. I should have told you more. I’m so sorry.” 

Blinking back the tears in his eyes, Daehwi finishes his speech. “I was stupid. You don’t have to forgive me, but just.. please tell me you heard some of this. I’m sorry.” 

Daehwi waits, and waits a little longer, and waits a little longer. After texting Jihoon a short ‘you sure he’s home?’ and receiving a ‘i’m positive 100% ://‘, Daehwi understood.

Jinyoung didn’t want to forgive him.

And Daehwi understood.

 

Daehwi made it three months without having to see Jinyoung again. 

Everytime he scrolled past the ‘JINYOUNGIE<333’ contact in his phone, his heart ached more and more, wanting to dial the number more than anything. As long as Jinyoung was happy, though, Daehwi was fine, or so he told himself.

“So..” Jihoon tentatively started one morning while watching a movie with Daehwi on his couch. “Do you want to come to my birthday gathering tonight? It’s small, just a fed people at my place.”

Daehwi nodded, “Sure, why wouldn’t I?”

“Jinyoung is going to be there?”

At this, the younger boy noticeably winced, like reopening a wound that didn’t want to be opened. “That’s fine,” Daehwi tells the other stiffly, “I heard he had a thing for Minhyunnie-hyung now anyways.”

Jihoon gives Daehwi a look, “you know that’s not true. Just come over for a little bit, and then you can leave. You don’t even have to see him.”

After some more convincing, Daehwi finally opens up to the idea of going, and helps Jihoon pick out an outfit for the night.

 

“You haven’t looked in Jinyoung’s general direction all night,” Woojin comments, sitting across from Daehwi in Jihoon’s kitchen. 

“I don’t know what you mean, Woojinnie.” Daehwi saw his roommate, Woojin, as more of a brother than a best friend, so he knew all about his relationship troubles.

“You know exactly what I mean. You can’t avoid him forever. You do know that he’s attending the same university as you, right?”

Daehwi didn’t know, of course, but shrugged anyways. “That’s fine.”

The older scoffed at the other’s words, standing up and walking over to Daehwi. 

“Follow me and don’t ask questions.”

Rather forcefully, Woojin grabs Daehwi’s wrist and pulls the younger towards Jihoon’s bedroom, closing the door behind him. “Sit and don’t move.”

Daehwi looks at the other in confusion, and next thing he knows the door is being slammed. 

Before he knows it, Jihoon is forcing a rather taller Jinyoung into the room, shouting “work your stuff out!” at them before slamming the door. 

Jinyoung wastes no time in trying to open the door, which must be held closed by the two brats known as Woojin and Jihoon, because he gives up in frustration. Daehwi, though, can’t help but stare at Jinyoung. 

‘He’s styling his hair different, and it’s a lighter brown now,’ the younger thinks to himself, ‘he looks good.’

The elder finally turns around and meets eyes with Daehwi. Daehwi immediately shifts his gaze and takes a seat on the bed. “You don’t have to talk to me, we can just wait until they get tired.” Mumbling, Daehwi takes a seat on the bed.

A few moments pass, before Jinyoung states, in a tone barely louder than a whisper. “I wanted to open the door.”

It takes Daehwi’s a few seconds to realize what he meant. 

“I understand why you didn’t open the door.”

A beat passes.

“I was scared.”

Beat.

“Me too.”

Beat.

“I do love you, Daehwi. I always will.”

At this, Daehwi feels tears prickle his eyes as he shifts his gaze back to Jinyoung. 

“I’m so stupid, i’m an idiot. I thought you didn’t love me anymore, when I was the one who was scared of loving you as much as I did. I’m so sorry. I made you feel so bad when it was all my fault.”

Jinyoung’s gaze softens, and he sits beside the younger. “Don’t blame yourself, Daehwi. I understand, it’s okay. I never stopped loving you.”

“Do you still love me?”

Jinyoung smiles. “I told you, I always will. I’m in love with you, Lee Daehwi.”

That’s how Daehwi ends up pouncing on Jinyoung, mumbling “I missed you so much” and “I’m so sorry I’m such an idiot” and “I love you so much Bae Jinyoung” against the other’s skin. 

“Please don’t leave me again,” Jinyoung whispers.

“Never,” Daehwi whispers back.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this mess of a fic :) you can follow my twt if you want @daehwisclub


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